White Trash People love nothing more than getting sauced off of cheap hooch and passing out drunk on the couch strategically placed in their yard. This is why they love boxed wine.
Boxed wine saves White Trash People so much time. Because boxed wine tastes like grape juice, it allows White Trash People to fill their baby’s bottle with White Zinfandel. This means that they must stop in only one aisle at the grocery store, saving time which can later be spent watching NASCAR.
Furthermore, boxed wine saves White Trash People money because they no longer have to buy their children toys, as they can simply involve their children in the fun of playing Slap the Bag.
Boxed wine is also space-efficient, which is important in a trailer where space is at a premium. Moreover, boxes of wine don’t roll around in the trunk of the Trans Am like bottles do.
Perhaps its biggest advantage is its handy spout, which allows White Trash People to easily dispense wine while high on meth without the mess caused by pouring bottles with shaky hands.
Finally, boxed wine prevents injuries and saves lives during domestic disputes. Unlike bottles, which can be used for blunt blows to the head or broken for makeshift blades, bags don’t hurt nobody.
Really, boxed wine is the glue that holds the White Trash household together. (Not to be confused with the glue sniffed by angry White Trash adolescent boys.)
YESSSSSSS!!!
I just found this website, and I love it. Looking forward to the inevitable post on meth.
I’m sorry but that’s rubbish, I think you mean students, students love this cheap crap especially in Sydney. It’s called GOON!
Boxed wine is also much easier to open one handed. So after you lose one of your hands in a farmhouse meth lab explosion, you can dull the pain with a box or two of red zin without the humiliation of having to ask your baby mama to pop the cork for you
Hhmm, glue…yep.
Lol it is true, country white people got something for meth and wine zinfandel, that shit is wack!
Mmm. . .boxed wine! How can you possibly go wrong with that?
For the Klassy (that’s classy with a capital K) ones, they can go with the boxed cosmopolitans. Talk about Sex in the City!
Heh, I love boxed wine ;)
Cheeky post, though.
And if you want even fancier, they make boxed RED wine too. Ooh la la. (Just don’t look in my fridge right now.)
You have missed the greatest advantage of boxed wine: you can bring it with you into NASCAR races.
Since there is a limit of about six cans of beer allowed in a race, and the race lasts three or four hours, well shit, you might end up sober at some point if you ain’t careful. So what you do is take the plastic bag out of the wine box, pack it into your cooler and cover it with ice, and you’ve got yourself well over a full bottle of wine to ensure you stay fucked up from flag to flag.