White Trash People love Meth.
Why? Crystal Meth doesn’t have the stigma of glamour associated with other drugs like cocaine or heroin. Models, bankers, music industry executives, screw those fancy pants people with their important jobs and their high class drugs.
No, meth is the people’s drug. The raw materials necessary to cook meth run about $200 for an ounce. Hell, even people on public assistance can afford that. And after you cut that ounce with some MSM or rock salt you’ve now got maybe $1600 worth of street drug.
Holy shit, you don’t need to be no Milton Friedman to know that’s an ass load of profit. Take that Mr. Welfare-Hating Elitist Republican, White Trash People are taking their handouts and contributing to economic growth. Let see you generate a 700% return.
And that $1600 is way more than any White Trash Person ever won on a scratch off ticket.
Plus with meth, you still get all that same fun of scratching off. If you can stretch an 8-ball, the bugs crawling on your skin will keep you occupied for up to a week. Hey you’ve got to have something to do seeing how you won’t be sleeping, and that’s an entertainment bargain.
Not only that, the pockmarks and trails of torn flesh look visually striking. You can turn your body into a Jackson Pollock knock off. He was famous and now is dead. Just like you will be too. Only without the fame.
But it’s not just a blatant disregard for skin care that makes meth so appealing. In fact meth is more than just a drug, it is a reaffirmation of everything that White Trash People don’t believe in: dental care, diet, steady employment, use of brain’s the frontal lobe, dignity, and self-respect.
It’s also powdery so you can snort it, smoke it, shoot it, or sprinkle it on your Hot Pockets. Mmm… Hot Pockets. Don’t those sound yummy?
Too bad you don’t have any money left as you had to sell everything you own, which admittedly wasn’t much, to support your habit. But look on the bright side you’re actually not that hungry as the meth has totally supressed your appetite. In fact, you’ve lost over 200 pounds.
Yeah meth!
That reminds me of the time I slept with a Waffle House waitress. Yes, she had all her teeth and she was quite cute. She was rather skinny and hyper, but I assume that was just due to her meth addition. Good times…good times.
i think that the people that do any kind drug is killing our envrioment this really hurts to see that even people who have kids are doing it in front of them
Now I know why-It isn’t a good thing if someone describes the doughnuts as Fresh as a meth Whore at sunrise!You are a very good writer! do you work for a sitcom/ I am sorry no you couldn’t ….because none of them are as funny as you. Rock On!
I have never seen a better subject to poke fun at nor to lament the waste.
Precious Roy you are a very good writer and this was very entertaining despite the loss of human dignity and life.
I love this satire. It’s wonderful!
It’s funny, too. You could get published, I’d bet.
you man r one funny geezer, i was rolling in my chair. keep it coming, respect