#16: Breeding

Quick quiz: How does a White Trash Family know when it has had too many kids?

Take a second. Think about it…

Sorry. Yeah, that was a trick question.

There is no such thing as too many kids to White Trash People.

Yep, White Trash People love breeding. And what’s not to love? Apparently everything besides your wife. That’s how they end up with so many kids in the first place.

It’s totally understandable. When you live in the parts of America with low population density, there’s not much else to do. And when two of your more obvious options for dealing with the boredom are parenting the kids you’ve already got or spending time trying to make more, it’s not surprising that so many White Trash Families have a population greater than that of Andorra.

But it’s not just about fighting ennui that makes breeding such a popular activity in lower socio-economic strata. It’s also about the survival of their own kind. The upward mobility that comes from education, the lottery, or gold digging all conspire to continually reduce the ranks of White Trash People.

So White Trash breeding has a type of noble defiance to it. Like they say, “You can take the girl out of the trailer, but you probably can’t also take her 14 brothers and sisters.”