Eventually, even White Trash People have to talk to each other. When such emergencies arise, White Trash People like to make small talk about current events. This is why they love the Weekly World News.
The best attribute about the Weekly World News is that it’s the world’s only reliable newspaper. It even says so right on the paper itself. And they couldn’t possibly lie about that because that would mean it’s not true.
Everything else you need to know about the Weekly World News is in its name.
First, it comes out weekly. That’s really about as often as most White Trash People can be bothered to read anything.
Second, it covers the whole world. How else would people ever know there was a Jesus toaster in Tirana, Albania burning an image of the Lord and Savior himself into every slice bread dropped into it; or that Bat Boy was now in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban?
Third, it’s the news. Shit you think NBC is going to tell people the real news? No, they are too busy with their leftist propaganda to inform people that Elvis is still alive. And is working hard to impregnate Oprah.
Hell, he’d of done it by now if Gayle wasn’t always getting in the way.
Finally the Weekly World News gives plain old comfort to White Trash People. As long as there is a 200 pound three-year old out there, they know their 150 pound three-year old is not the world’s fattest. And if he’s not the world’s fattest, then he’s not a freak.
And nothing is more important to White Trash People than not standing out as freaks.
They stopped publishing it last year.
Unfortunately, WWN has been shut down and is no longer producing new issues.
Ever since I was a kid I always wondered what kept these rags on the market. Use to ammuse me but know get really annoyed as both an environmentalist and a avid reader. I believe in the benifits of the written word to enlighten our society but don’t believe trees should be murdered for this stuff. Nor electricity burned for the printing nor fossil fuels for the transport thereof. Wish these people would check the “Batboy impregnates Oprah” story online instead of in hard copy but that would entail computer literacy. Also entails buying a computer when you have already spent all your money on a bass boat and a dear stand w/ AC.