#34: Mardi Gras
April 16, 2008 by Precious Roy
Everyone loves a Winter vacation but, while not everyone can make it to warm climes of Central America or the Caribbean, they still like to enjoy some Third World charm.
That’s why New Orleans in February is such a popular choice. But ice that cake with some Mardi Gras, and it’s White Trash mixed metaphor Hajj to Mecca.
White Trash People love Mardi Gras not because it gives them a chance to sample the latest trends in professional sports jersey attire, but because it’s a celebration of two things that White Trash People simply cannot get enough of: booze and titties.
Sure both booze and titties are available almost any place, but not with the same ubiquity and easy access as at Mardi Gras. Drive through liquor stores, to-go Hurricanes, that’s merely an appetizer for the main course: Titties (c’mon that should have been obvious by now). And lots of them.
For Mardi Gras, New Orleans is transformed into truly magical place where the world’s most worthless trinket of cheap plastic beads falls from the sky. Then simply by repeatedly chanting “Show your tits”—which itself is brilliant in its monosyllabic elegance—those beads can then can be traded for a good look at a strange woman’s bare boobs.
It’s almost enough of a miracle to make you believe that somehow Jesus himself, through his life or maybe the time before his death, is responsible for the festival.
Almost.
